Damp Problem Detective Pillows

"The landlord has promised to sort out the damp problems."

He can identify a fly taken by a trout at fifty yards range.

STRIP Hambone: Fix it yourself

"May I get an equation in edgewise."

Contemporary English Lesson: The Cat was Sat on the Mat.

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

Is it me or are we getting a lot more wind lately?

Unsafe Drain Covers!

'Not only did they install an elevator to help you get over the dam, they also hired an elevator operator.'

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

"I'm an atheist. I don't believe in programmers."

Arnold's clone refuses to workout: 'You're a huge disappointment, dude.'

"O.K., so I shrank. But you must admit I am brighter."

This sucker was pretty clogged. Found lots and lots of wool. Yes sir, yes sir - looks like about 3 bags full.

'The bad news is that you've got damp rot. The good news is - it's drowning your woodworm.'

'Go ahead and dig, you said! what are the odds there's a pipe right there, you said!'

'I'll do anything to find water in this drought.'

"Oh, great, the warranty is up."

"I guess the term 'thin air' no longer applies."

'This tastes like dishwater.'

"They did it again - not a word in the weather report about an ice age."

Spyware is easy to see, if you know where to look.

'I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.'

Peeping Drone

The Ocean's Plug

"Is it my imagination, or has it been an unusually wet summer?"

"He'd been drunk,he'd been walking past the zoo...there had been something else, but damn he couldn't remember."

'We're having a bit of a problem with the drainage in our bathroom. . .How soon can you get somebody out to us?. . .Have you got anything earlier than Tuesday?'

Computer screen registers alert for illegal entry as cops drag the computer operator to jail.

It doesn't take her long to find the warmest place in the house.

"Something's wrong with my computer so I'm using Bill's. What is incognito mode?"

Guided Missiles Design Office

'Texting, one, two, three, four, texting, one, two, three, four. There that ought to do it.'