Debugging Detective Pillows

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

"I'm an atheist. I don't believe in programmers."

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

A boy acting suspiciously

"Always remember, sweetheart, that when the service is free, YOU'RE the product!"

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

'I think the new V. P. of Global Development is here.'

STRIP Hambone: Fix it yourself

Computer Expert

Where was I?

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

"Here...let me call an expert...someone who knows about these things."

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

"Has the Wi-Fi seemed slow to you lately?"

Terry had a computer bug.

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

"Looks like Brandon got caught with his hand in the password jar."

'Um, can I get a FOURTH opinion?'

"Careful! He knows computers."

Clickbait

'Kumor's responsible for all the computer passwords, so the boss had him encrypted.'

"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

'There's no such thing as 'ookawooka-itis' -- You have got to stop watching doctor shows!'

'If I've learned anything, it's believe half of what's in the newspapers, and even less of what's in your e-mail.'

"Prove you're not a human Select the squares with a bike Skip"

'An application won't be necessary, Sir. . . if you did it, we know about it.'

'Should I just hit 'reply to all' and save the government the trouble?'

'I'm sorry, Jason. I don't date anyone new until I've googled them.'