Leak Fixers Pillows

Trusty Shoe Repairs.

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

'Before you come with me, tell me...does this robe look a little rumpled to you? I don't think the dry cleaners got the creases out, do you?'

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

'The upside is that if the water gets high enough all your termites might drown.'

Lazy plumber.

Forgot your locker combination? Let Sammy the weasel pick it open for you!

'Well, the magic of Christmas is officially over, unless it includes waking up to a septic tank backup.'

System failure - calling for sysadmin...

Son? We need to talk about inappropriate life choices. I was joking. I'm not going to be an investment banker. Great! I'd hate to see you waste your talents. There are plenty of other jobs. Like the fixer who disappears famous athletes' awkward e-mails. You'll always be employed.

'Bob will be with you in a moment. He's cleaning the filter to the wine-aroma-judging-device attached to his face.'

Cyber disease.

'Agreed then? Your boy takes a dive in the fifth...'

'Is the drain still clogged, Henry?'

Master Plumber

"I had to improvise"

"Have you tried switching it off and switching it back on again - or pretending there's absolutely nothing wrong with it?"

'Damn. The dark is leaking out of the dark room again.'

"Hi, I'm your new neighbour. I work as a maintenance engineer on the Thames Flood Barrier."

'It's our last resort.'

"People are always discriminating against my dad. At work, people say, 'clean up that spill' and 'get under the sink.'"

Hospital. Emergency. Closed. I'm bleeding and the E.R. is closed, What should I do? Just go home? Suture self!

'Please report any drips to maintenance immediately.'

'OK, Mr Smith, we're ready for your colonscopy!'

'I guess it's official now. No one in this town actually makes anything anymore.'

'OK Smith, you can take this back to the Woodwork room now!'

Boss, someone called The Fixer is here to see you. Excellent. Go out and tell him I want him to teach you everything he knows. I don't see why I should have to keep paying him when I've got my very own minion. Pay extra attention to the issue vague threats to shut down lawsuits part. If he asks why I didn't fire him myself, you tell him I've moved to Botswana. Very bad man.

'That's one way to 'shut down' the system...'

Stitches.

Boy with his finger in a leaking water bed.

Woman in desperate need of a plumber.

Golf Cart Punctures

"Remember girls - these are evil and must be punished!!"

Windscreen replacement

"This Michael Cohen is giving fixers a bad name."