Leak Fixers Pillows

Trusty Shoe Repairs.

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

'The upside is that if the water gets high enough all your termites might drown.'

Lazy plumber.

'Well, the magic of Christmas is officially over, unless it includes waking up to a septic tank backup.'

System failure - calling for sysadmin...

'Bob will be with you in a moment. He's cleaning the filter to the wine-aroma-judging-device attached to his face.'

Cyber disease.

'Agreed then? Your boy takes a dive in the fifth...'

'Is the drain still clogged, Henry?'

Master Plumber

"I had to improvise"

"Have you tried switching it off and switching it back on again - or pretending there's absolutely nothing wrong with it?"

'Damn. The dark is leaking out of the dark room again.'

"Hi, I'm your new neighbour. I work as a maintenance engineer on the Thames Flood Barrier."

"People are always discriminating against my dad. At work, people say, 'clean up that spill' and 'get under the sink.'"

'It's our last resort.'

'Please report any drips to maintenance immediately.'

'OK, Mr Smith, we're ready for your colonscopy!'

'I guess it's official now. No one in this town actually makes anything anymore.'

Boy with his finger in a leaking water bed.

'OK Smith, you can take this back to the Woodwork room now!'

Stitches.

'That's one way to 'shut down' the system...'

Woman in desperate need of a plumber.

Golf Cart Punctures

"Remember girls - these are evil and must be punished!!"

"This Michael Cohen is giving fixers a bad name."

Windscreen replacement