Lie Detector Specialist Gifts

Practicing for the lie detector test...'I have only $800 in the bank. I was never in Chicago. I know nothing about the dog food business.'

The Anti-Agent

Turtle Hat

Giant pandas doing surveillance in a zoo.

"I'm afraid you have a condition called 'googly-eyes'."

Rumors, lies and innuendo.

CCTV in church.

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

We've already got one. A hidden microphone in the staff coffee area.

'Somebody close the window. Those pesky drones are getting in.'

"Your IQ came back negative."

Sportswasher's

'Waiter, there's a drone in my soup.'

"I think that's one of those annoying flying drones we've been hearing about!"

"How long do you think we'll get away with it?"

"I'm not lying. I'm social distancing."

"Simple yes or no. Are the cartoons funny?"

No, you were supposed to check the doorbell camera before lowering the drawbridge.

Diary of a DNA Cop

"We need to discuss your expense account."

'We can't determine if you're telling the truth, but you should have a doctor check your pressure.'

"Thank you all for attending this first conference of the surveillance camera recording industry."

US Camouflage School

Moby the Private Dick.

"This isn't just another paper airplane. This one carries a camera and microphone."

'My phone's been tapped!'

'I'm a firm believer in not going out of my way to give employees the opportunity to test their honesty.'

It isn't just the media that's biased...often the voters are too.

Watching The Watchers.

"You did very well on your I.Q. test. You're a man of 49 with the intelligence of a man of 53."

How I Learned to Love the Drone Bomb

'I didn't say I majored in business administration - I said I took business administration.'

Chimp, proficient in primate speech, outsmarts a lie detector.

'Of course I've done something about Lady Godiva -- I had security cameras installed all over town!'

"He's lying! Just like all men! Oh God, mother was right, I'm never getting married, am I?"