Leader Of The Playground Gifts

'Let's play business. I'll be the chairman of the board and you'll work for me and laugh whenever I tell a joke.'

"My political platform focuses on more ice cream and more frisbee chasing, with less chores and fewer baths."

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

"Go away, he's not done playing Cowboys and Indians yet."

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

'I don't know what 'peer pressure' is, but it makes a GREAT excuse!'

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"

"I'm bored."

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

A child sitting on a swing - while playing with a hand-held electronic device or phone

"Recess does things to a man."

'I prefer the term 'whistleblower' to tattletale.'

"I'm doing whatever I feel like doing, before I reach the age of accountability."

'Don't let them know you're a prodigy. If they find out, they'll take away your teddy bear.'

Playground Pipe Dreams

"Do you want to talk about it?"

'Play post office? -- I don't like violent games.'

"Maths is easy because it's so logical. 2 + 2 obviously equals 22."

'They're relics of the many ancient civilization that have dwelled at Blisshaven.'

"It turns out I just wasted the whole morning networking with a dog."

"Ok, so I go back and forth… Then what?"

'Don't forget to take your tranquilizers Daddy, little Jimmy is coming round to play.'

'Not without your helmet, you're not!'

Dog Training.

'I won't bother to bath Mum, we're playing again tomorrow!'

'Well, I guess it's your father's fault for mounting that backboard on the barn in the first place. ... OK, one game...'

'You put it down for five seconds. I get it now.'

Mood swings: Swing 1 - 'Looks like it's going to be another wonderful day!' Swing 2 - 'Who CARES link brain! I hope it rains acid!!' Swing 3 - 'I think i'm going to CRRRY!'

'Oh,oh, Regina has her lawyer with her.'

"I'll wear any kind of dirt, but I prefer a rich loam with lots of humus."

"Oh, it's just more white-male stuff."

"He thinks he learned a new trick - I don't have the heart to tell him it's just an old trick he forgot he knew."

'I'm not making a mess, Mom -- I'm becoming one with the Earth!'

Riding the statue.

"What they lose on the swings we gain on the roundabouts."