Lazy Layabout Gifts

4 Reasons for Procrastination

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

"I AM at my usual position."

Lazy Octopus

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

American Idle.

Bill and Lester have a 'Hay Day'.

Cat and mouse

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

Catatonic

To be honest, I'd just as soon as lay in the yard, but he so looks forward to it.

'I've never known a dog who gets tired so quickly.'

"Would you get me a beer from the refrigerator? Just grab one of the cans on the top shelf. Come on, I do so much for you—all these years, the walks, the food, the chases... Come on! Never mind."

'Can you mow the lawn? The kids can't find their trampoline.'

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

"I've had a lot of exercise today! I jumped to several conclusions, ran my mouth on the phone, and I just cycled through 500 cable channels!"

'Every time I turn my back, he's learned another one of your bad habits.'

Gifts from the House of Low Goals.

'If it's a universal remote, how come it doesn't work on the refrigerator?'

How the goat got square eyes.

"Do you want to order in or wither and die?"

"Fetch me another Sculpin IPA."

Dribbling and snoring - proof that men can multi-task.

Inactive wear store.

'Some blue-arsed fly you turned out to be.'

'Don't get up. ... I've got it!'

'My husband likes to have everything handy during TV commercials.'

'I load on the job all the time so I figure it's not really 'earned' income.'

'I don't care how comfortable you feel with me. This reels weird for a first date.'

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

Fetch the Boomerang

'Ironically, sportswear is the most comfortable clothing for doing nothing in.'

"If yer a potato, I'm a potato."

'I think someone's asking to go out.'

"Ed's not really into binge watching...he just can't find the remote."