Potential Layabout Gifts

Do you think it's too late for me to go to law school and position myself for an appointment to the Supreme Court? Yes, unfortunately. You'd have to go back in time and start preparing early. By that I mean WAY back. As in you'd have to ensure that the cells that formed you had genes that would give you intellectual curiosity, above-average intelligence, and ambition. But you do still have time to become a layabout. You seem to have prepared very well for that. What? You'd still get to wear a ro

'Every time I turn my back, he's learned another one of your bad habits.'

"C'mon, you can do this! Be the sock!"

Completely out of diapers and facing a seven-hour layover, Marsha happens upon a diaper scalper.

"This is the way I like it - I pretend to be asleep and he doesn't bother me."

Fetch the Boomerang

"Love me?"

'Dad, is this like ... you doing your own thing?'

"I considered riding my bike to work until I realized it involved pedaling and sweat."

"He's a keen conservationist - especially where energy and water are concerned."

'It took months of training but now she'd rather sip a martini than fetch a ball.'

"Doc, I think I'm suffering from insomnia...every ten minutes the boss bursts into my office and wakes me up!"

'Care of your new hammock. Let's face it, whatever we write here, you're not going to bother.'

Do it yourself - Get someone else to do it

'I follow my doctor's orders religiously. He said for me to spend two hours a day on the tennis court.'

'Someone told him life begins at forty. Now he's reserving his energies!'

"We're watching your side of the room with growing fascination."

"I just got home. Let me roost a bit."

'OK, my dinner's in the oven. Where's the oven?'

"Honey, grab me a seal from the freezer will ya."

'Why is it I can see what needs doing around here and you can't? . . . I know what cures that. . . 'Chores-ercise'.'

'Sloth? We prefer Creature of Persistent Inactivity.'

"The first rule of musical chairs club is... you have to get out of your chairs!"

"Since Frank retired two years ago, he's been on the alert for some long-dormant artistic talent to develop."

Risks for the heart patient Unloading the Dishwasher "Sorry? No can do." Answering the Land Line R-R-RING! R-R-R-RING! N-nope R-R-RING!!! Doing Taxes "Doc said I should take it easy." Any Car-Related Errand "The old ticker."

"They always know when it's time to make the bed."

"Nice curvature."

4 Reasons for Procrastination

Whoa. I just had a near-life experience.

"The very thought of exercise does that to him. I guess that's why it's called cross training."

Bored Coachman

'I don't like vegetables, so when I grow up, can I be a couch donut?'

"Why don't we just stay by this rock and take day trips around the local area?

Lazy Mountain Climber.

'Let's have the Athletics on, luv - the doc sez I need more exercise!'