Layabout With Flair Gifts

'I follow my doctor's orders religiously. He said for me to spend two hours a day on the tennis court.'

"Here's something called "The Fifty Greatest Countdown Shows Ever!""

"We are doing something. You're just not good at it."

Beach flirting

'May I have the key to your heart?'

"Hey Google, describe the view."

"I'd rather be at the office."

'Everybody's entitled to have a hobby. Mine's growing grass.'

Chillaxing!

"Well, I don't consider it a tattoo. I consider it a monogram."

"I think I prefer a hot Italian sun on my back and a hot Italian hand on my backside..."

Heaven is...

"Shall we go talk with those au pairs?"

'We may not look like much, but the French accent works wonders with the ladies...'

"£200,000, that's going to but one great holiday."

Nice For His Boots!

"Ooh, Dave. Your DNA results have come back! According to this, you're 10% German, 15% Irish, and 75% layabout."

4 Reasons for Procrastination

'Going with the flow isn't much of a philosophy, but it's all I have.'

"I wouldn't say he was a creature of habit - more of a creature with bad habits."

'We need an expert to improve our marketing concept, our business strategy and our sales performance. That's why I decided to hire the 12 year old from the lemonade stand on the other side of the street.'

Pipe Smoker

Do you think it's too late for me to go to law school and position myself for an appointment to the Supreme Court? Yes, unfortunately. You'd have to go back in time and start preparing early. By that I mean WAY back. As in you'd have to ensure that the cells that formed you had genes that would give you intellectual curiosity, above-average intelligence, and ambition. But you do still have time to become a layabout. You seem to have prepared very well for that. What? You'd still get to wear a ro

"In the bad old days, Nigel used to spend much of his time drinking and 'picking up birds'. . ."

R.A. is a nympho.

'So maybe I am a real animal...don't you believe in animal rights?'

'And for the sports minded. . . there's the £100 trip up to my flat.'

"The least you could do is move over one seat and offer to make me happy for the rest of my life."

'Being a secretary is really neat, Mr. Foskett -- I just love this white nail polish!'

'This year I think I'll go to the lakes and see the scenery.' - 'Or go to the beach and be the scenery.'

Maureen Got Around.

Miss Motormouth

"I'm not wearing any thermal underwear."

'Welcome to Maximum Security. Options include walking, reading a book, or taking the all important lunch break.'

'I know, what I said was, you're keeping me awake.'