Lazy Bones Club Pillows

Inventing the wheel, hitchhiking.

"You created a robot to do your homework for you? Apparently, laziness is the mother of invention."

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

"Mine's still in bed."

A Golden Non-Retriever

Ultra-lazy sloth

Cat puts off paying gas bill, to sleep longer...

"He's an indoor cat."

'Honestly, dear, I'm just giving my pedometer a rest.'

'God does not call the qualified. He koala-fies the called.'

'What does L.B.W. mean?'

"Celebrating Labor Day assumes you've labored at least one day during the previous year."

"My blood type...it's the type that doesn't like to exercise."

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

'I don't care how comfortable you feel with me. This reels weird for a first date.'

Even when it came to walking the dog Norman would take a relaxed approach.

"No. I wouldn't 'like to see the cheese menu'. And I don't appreciate the stereotyping!"

Vocation,vocation,vocation.

Shortly after being accepted into John's heart, Jesus lodged in aorta.

"Next year, I'm pleasuring myself."

"If yer a potato, I'm a potato."

'Now that's what I call a religious broadcast.'

"Well, sometimes we take the dogs for a walk...which puts our fitness level at approximately that of an 80-year-old couple."

Jesus as a child - 'Just look at my clean floor! What have I told you about walking on puddles?'

"I hope you realize your late arrivals for work seriously upset the museum's visitors!"

'I think someone's asking to go out.'

Eucharist

'I just glanced back at Sodom and Gomorrah for a second...'

"I just got the place feeling like home again and now it's time to go back to college."

Exercise vs Laxative.

Crumbs of Comfort

"A reading from the ax of the apostles."

"We learned in Sunday School about how Cain whacked Abel."

'I decided it was time to be more active when my wife started dusting me twice a week.'

'That better not be a second rib scar, Adam.'