Lazybones Laughseeker Pillows

Daily Exercise

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

Bad fake tan day.

"That'll be five bucks."

The only time cats are known to laugh.

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

Would you be willing to sign something regarding the fat content of your burger? Like what? My colon.

'Ben just fired my ten guage goose gun. He should be coming back this way any minute now.'

"What did Jesus order?"

Wet Cement. Always the joker, aren't you, Ernie?

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

"I'm not a doctor, but I don't think the problem is with your bladder, Bob."

"Projectile hairballing."

Drunk Barber

"Hey! Get back here!"

'When Johhny told everyone he was going to be a comedian they all laughed...'

he used to belong to a cartoonist

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

"Celebrating Labor Day assumes you've labored at least one day during the previous year."

"My blood type...it's the type that doesn't like to exercise."

'Because I'm so sick of those movies, now go get me a romantic comedy.'

'When Einstein wrote about time and relativity he must have been watching a football game where the last 30 seconds took two hours.'

Bald Man Overcomb

'The end. Well, time for bed. What are you writing?'

"I've always wanted to do this - 'knock, knock...who's there?'"

Jerk Gene

Football heads...

'Tropical fruit, imported cheese, coconuts...I'm not really into that 'eat locally' stuff.'

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

"Ok. . . who added the yellow?"

'He's not in now. This is his secwatawy.'

Ask Sadie

Comedy Store - Canned Laughter delivery.

'I don't understand. Why do you want to have your arms extended?'