Lawn Gnome Enthusiast T-Shirts

"My paw's getting tired. Is your paw getting tired?"

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

Garden Gnome fishing all the fish for pond.

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

I want to rip out our lawn and plant a wild meadow. And I want lost of well-mown grass. What do you recommend? Nursery open. Just a sec. I'll check with my dad. No way! Tree's Tree Nursery. I'm not suggesting a marriage counselor!

The Fall of Gnome

"Garden variety allergies."

A sign on the front lawn of a house reads "Keep off the chemicals".

"The gods seem angrier than usual today."

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

Goddess of Fertility garden feature

Show and Tell.

We practically live out here in the summer.

Watering the garden gnome

Balding gnomes

'I can't get my husband to water the lawn.'

Beware of the Lawn

"Basically, I'm looking for a beer can holder with a mower built around it."

'It's that damned gnome that attracts them!'

'I'm making one of the craters into a birdbath.'

'I think I missed that episode.'

Better Gnomes.

Drunk Woman Sees Pink Elephants in her Garden.

'This veldt makes me worry about the condition of our yard back home.'

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

'Despite her numerous advanced degrees, Dr.Bessie couldn't keep her mouth from watering.'

'All I'm saying is I wished you'd specified where you were going put the gnomes when you asked me if we could get some!'

'The grass is always greener on the other side seed'.

Animals looking at a map of the crops on a farm.

Lecture today. This last one is always found just outside cave entrances. Lecture today. Hominid fossil finds. We're calling him "gnomo-sapiens."

'How do they know it's breakfast time? It's your garden clock, birdbrain!'

Shoot, I forgot about that underground sprinkler.

Mower Repair

Bird sees coo coo bird emerge from birdhouse

"Gnomeschooling is harder than I thought!"