Lawn Bowling Aficionado Gifts

Mr Kettleband's humour was described as unique.

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

Polar bear bowling alley

I want to rip out our lawn and plant a wild meadow. And I want lost of well-mown grass. What do you recommend? Nursery open. Just a sec. I'll check with my dad. No way! Tree's Tree Nursery. I'm not suggesting a marriage counselor!

The very noisy, but enjoyable game of Crowquet.

A sign on the front lawn of a house reads "Keep off the chemicals".

"Honey, I think that's too many bows."

"No! I am your father!" "Noooooo!"

'The grudge match.'

"The gods seem angrier than usual today."

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

"Has it occurred to you that you keep getting beaten up because that's your true purpose in life?"

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

Bowling ball van driving into bowling pin factory.

Like most billionaires, Hugh Andrews the third prefers to bowl with crystal pins.

"Basically, I'm looking for a beer can holder with a mower built around it."

Bowling ball head.

Bowling. 24 Lanes. Going bowling for date night with my girlfriend as a bad idea. A split was inevitable.

'I can't get my husband to water the lawn.'

"Yes, it's a sports related injury. He dropped his bowling ball."

Beware of the Lawn

"I think Simon’s been hit on the head one too many times."

Pin-atas

'This veldt makes me worry about the condition of our yard back home.'

'I'm making one of the craters into a birdbath.'

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

'Despite her numerous advanced degrees, Dr.Bessie couldn't keep her mouth from watering.'

'The grass is always greener on the other side seed'.

Shoot, I forgot about that underground sprinkler.

A man walking a bowling ball is about to walk into a woman walking a bunch of bowling pins

'Go ahead, big bowler... Show me what you've got!'

Mower Repair

"How's your bowling game, soldier?"

'Any awards or honors other than bowling trophies?'

'You mean you don't have a bowling alley on board? And you call yourself a cruise ship?'