Lawn Bowling Lover Gifts

'What's the hardest thing about playing bowls?'

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

Don't forget the hosepipe ban!

Beginning Yarder.

A sign on the front lawn of a house reads "Keep off the chemicals".

"No! I am your father!" "Noooooo!"

'He misses his garden when he's on holiday'

The very noisy, but enjoyable game of Crowquet.

'The grudge match.'

"The gods seem angrier than usual today."

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

Like most billionaires, Hugh Andrews the third prefers to bowl with crystal pins.

Bowling ball van driving into bowling pin factory.

Bowling ball head.

"Yes, it's a sports related injury. He dropped his bowling ball."

Beware of the Lawn

'I can't get my husband to water the lawn.'

"Basically, I'm looking for a beer can holder with a mower built around it."

"You did order the chemical-free insecticide."

'So you've finally got round to mowing the garden.'

'Al's Lawn Care Service: There's no crabgrass too crabby for us!'

'This veldt makes me worry about the condition of our yard back home.'

'If I've calculated correctly, I have two more birthdays before I never have to mow the lawn again.'

"I think Simon’s been hit on the head one too many times."

'I'm making one of the craters into a birdbath.'

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

'Despite her numerous advanced degrees, Dr.Bessie couldn't keep her mouth from watering.'

"I've found the lawnmower!"

'...so I said to Linda, 'I can't do yard work in the rain!''