Lawn Lovers Gifts

'Honey, could you turn the water on?'

'You might think it's your roof, but it's really my yard.'

Lawn Furniture/Yawn Furniture.

"Wait for it …"

'If I've calculated correctly, I have two more birthdays before I never have to mow the lawn again.'

August: An all out effort will be needed to keep control now. You should not have booked your holiday this month.

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

Don't forget the hosepipe ban!

"The car is in the garage, but I had to drive over the lawnmower."

Beginning Yarder.

'He misses his garden when he's on holiday'

A sign on the front lawn of a house reads "Keep off the chemicals".

"The gods seem angrier than usual today."

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

"Dad, can we please just buy a week wacker?"

Beware of the Lawn

'I can't get my husband to water the lawn.'

"Basically, I'm looking for a beer can holder with a mower built around it."

'Don't forget to put gas in the car and the mower.'

"You did order the chemical-free insecticide."

'Al's Lawn Care Service: There's no crabgrass too crabby for us!'

'So you've finally got round to mowing the garden.'

A psychic mows the lawn.

Cow Pilot.

'I'm making one of the craters into a birdbath.'

'This veldt makes me worry about the condition of our yard back home.'

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

'Despite her numerous advanced degrees, Dr.Bessie couldn't keep her mouth from watering.'

"I've found the lawnmower!"

'...so I said to Linda, 'I can't do yard work in the rain!''

'The grass is always greener on the other side seed'.

'Be sure to bring home your divots so you can patch the bare spots in our lawn.'

"Who's a good boy?!!"

"I can't go on. All the weeding, mowing, digging, pesticides, and gopher holes really hurts you know. It's just not worth it anymore."

"It doesn't mean you, Hickford!"