Lawn Enthusiasts Gifts

Mowing the Jungle

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

Don't forget the hosepipe ban!

I want to rip out our lawn and plant a wild meadow. And I want lost of well-mown grass. What do you recommend? Nursery open. Just a sec. I'll check with my dad. No way! Tree's Tree Nursery. I'm not suggesting a marriage counselor!

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

A man repeatedly pulls the start cord on his lawn mower until it falls apart.

Beginning Yarder.

A sign on the front lawn of a house reads "Keep off the chemicals".

The very noisy, but enjoyable game of Crowquet.

Couple who have confused their baby's pram and the lawn mower.

'He misses his garden when he's on holiday'

"The gods seem angrier than usual today."

Three different categories of lawnmower.

Goddess of Fertility garden feature

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

'George! This way quick!'

"Basically, I'm looking for a beer can holder with a mower built around it."

'I can't get my husband to water the lawn.'

Beware of the Lawn

"You did order the chemical-free insecticide."

'Al's Lawn Care Service: There's no crabgrass too crabby for us!'

'So you've finally got round to mowing the garden.'

Mowing the Bottle-Garden

A psychic mows the lawn.

'This veldt makes me worry about the condition of our yard back home.'

'I'm making one of the craters into a birdbath.'

'If I've calculated correctly, I have two more birthdays before I never have to mow the lawn again.'

"It would be better with a protein, but add-ons are so expensive."

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

'Despite her numerous advanced degrees, Dr.Bessie couldn't keep her mouth from watering.'

Death upgrades to a strimmer

"I've found the lawnmower!"

'...so I said to Linda, 'I can't do yard work in the rain!''

Lawn mower - must get longer cable