Law Enforcement Laugher Gifts

Minority Report Is Real

Alas poor Daisy, I knew her well!

"And when you realized it was the wrong tree, why do you think you kept barking up it?"

'Still have gas problems, Mr. Quigley?'

"I said to make a thousand CLONES."

'He hasn't responded to training - he still insists on taking Alec to his slippers....'

"5...4...3...2..."

Police Lineup Escape

'Oh silly me, I'm trying to fix my glasses with nasel spray instead of super-glue!'

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'What do you expect? A red bulb burned out, and you're free till Christmas.'

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

Covid Babies

'That was so funny. I haven't booed that loudly in years.'

"It's easy to test yourself. Go to sleep at night and if you wake up alive the next morning, you didn't die of Corona overnight."

'...And zap him quick, before that bleeding-heart Governor gets back from vacation.'

COVID-19

"It was a typical 'His lawyer said/Her lawyer said' situation."

"We the jury, find the defendant to be as guilty as he looks."

Decision on the flip of a coin...

Stun-gun target practice.

'Pull it over, Speedy.'

'Never go berry pickin' on an empty stomach.'

"A cashier told me to have a nice day and I didn't. Am I liable or can I sue her?"

"You've been around here longer than I have. What are 'congressional ethics'?"

"I'm certain you're fine, but my attorney would like to see you naked."

"I take it the defense rests."

'Just a little off the top.'

Piñata police line-up.

"Why take chances? I say, I'm self-isolating, and will be drinking from home for a couple of weeks."

'...if you don't stop..er..singing Mr Bieber I'll arrest you for possessing an offensive weapon as well as drunk driving.'

'This is just a routine check, sir -- are you a turtle?'

The Gingerbread Man's cousin, the hash cookie man.

'A nice feature of this office, the view from that window won't distract you from your work.'

"To be honest it's not really driverless, I'm just scared I might catch something off the steering wheel."