Lawful Laugher Gifts

'Really? You're in here for THAT? - That was legalized YEARS ago!'

Sheep and policeman

'Hang on a minute...are you over 18?'

'...And zap him quick, before that bleeding-heart Governor gets back from vacation.'

"I take it the defense rests."

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'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

"And when you realized it was the wrong tree, why do you think you kept barking up it?"

'Still have gas problems, Mr. Quigley?'

"I said to make a thousand CLONES."

A baby in court

'I gotta admit - this 'jury by my peers' idea of yours is looking pretty good.'

'Nonsense, Harry, it's my treat. I'm filing for bankruptcy tomorrow.'

'He hasn't responded to training - he still insists on taking Alec to his slippers....'

'Insofar as all parties have agreed to mediation, I've taken the liberty of hiring a medium.'

Police Lineup Escape

Judge chasing fly with gavel.

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

Minority Report Is Real

'What do you expect? A red bulb burned out, and you're free till Christmas.'

"The charge is loitering, your honor."

All together now! Let's sing our decision!

"It was a typical 'His lawyer said/Her lawyer said' situation."

"I can assure you, Your Honor, that my client knocked over the liquor store with the best of intentions."

'Do you mean LAWYER?'

Prosecutor's Office. The judge threw out the confession --- He said it was coerced. You violated the duress code!

Decision on the flip of a coin...

'I'd like to have my name legally changed to 'Dot Com.''

"Now, if something happens to your marriage, do you want do-not resuscitate?"

It is illegal to fall asleep under a hairdryer in Florida.

"See, there it is.Thou shalt not bake cakes for gay couples."

"I'm certain you're fine, but my attorney would like to see you naked."

New Attorney.

'...please instruct the puppet to remain silent and let the witness answer for himself.'