Lawful Laugher Pillows

'Really? You're in here for THAT? - That was legalized YEARS ago!'

Sheep and policeman

'Hang on a minute...are you over 18?'

'...And zap him quick, before that bleeding-heart Governor gets back from vacation.'

"I take it the defense rests."

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'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

"And when you realized it was the wrong tree, why do you think you kept barking up it?"

'Still have gas problems, Mr. Quigley?'

A baby in court

"I said to make a thousand CLONES."

'I gotta admit - this 'jury by my peers' idea of yours is looking pretty good.'

'Nonsense, Harry, it's my treat. I'm filing for bankruptcy tomorrow.'

'He hasn't responded to training - he still insists on taking Alec to his slippers....'

'Insofar as all parties have agreed to mediation, I've taken the liberty of hiring a medium.'

Police Lineup Escape

'What do you expect? A red bulb burned out, and you're free till Christmas.'

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

"The charge is loitering, your honor."

"It was a typical 'His lawyer said/Her lawyer said' situation."

All together now! Let's sing our decision!

"I can assure you, Your Honor, that my client knocked over the liquor store with the best of intentions."

'Do you mean LAWYER?'

Decision on the flip of a coin...

'I'd like to have my name legally changed to 'Dot Com.''

It is illegal to fall asleep under a hairdryer in Florida.

"I'm certain you're fine, but my attorney would like to see you naked."

"Now, if something happens to your marriage, do you want do-not resuscitate?"

"See, there it is.Thou shalt not bake cakes for gay couples."

'...please instruct the puppet to remain silent and let the witness answer for himself.'

Judge Duels

"It was 'im wot ruffled me bonce, judge, as I was politely getting into 'is car."

'Before your honor passes sentence, is the anything my client could do for extra credit, if you know what I mean?'

"Well, I made you a job offer and you accepted. I guess the only thing left is for me to read you your Miranda rights."