Legal Laughters Pillows

"I always chuckle over how truthful a witness becomes when I drag out my ol' crystal ball."

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

A baby in court

'I gotta admit - this 'jury by my peers' idea of yours is looking pretty good.'

'Nonsense, Harry, it's my treat. I'm filing for bankruptcy tomorrow.'

'Insofar as all parties have agreed to mediation, I've taken the liberty of hiring a medium.'

Judge to attorneys in courtroom wearing boxing gloves: 'Looks like you're both ready for your opening arguments, gentlemen?'

'I'm in for burglarizing a store, but I got a reduced sentence because I only stole sale items.'

"The charge is loitering, your honor."

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"First, admit no harm."

'Do you mean LAWYER?'

"I can assure you, Your Honor, that my client knocked over the liquor store with the best of intentions."

All together now! Let's sing our decision!

'...And zap him quick, before that bleeding-heart Governor gets back from vacation.'

"It was a typical 'His lawyer said/Her lawyer said' situation."

Decision on the flip of a coin...

'I'd like to have my name legally changed to 'Dot Com.''

It is illegal to fall asleep under a hairdryer in Florida.

"Now, if something happens to your marriage, do you want do-not resuscitate?"

"See, there it is.Thou shalt not bake cakes for gay couples."

"I'm certain you're fine, but my attorney would like to see you naked."

"I take it the defense rests."

'Overruled. Now answer the question. We could all use a good laugh.'

'...please instruct the puppet to remain silent and let the witness answer for himself.'

"It was 'im wot ruffled me bonce, judge, as I was politely getting into 'is car."

"After all, it is a frivolous lawsuit..."

Judge Duels

'Before your honor passes sentence, is the anything my client could do for extra credit, if you know what I mean?'

'And in order to make the experience of court less intimidating...'

Barrister defending a criminal