Law-bending Laughs Gifts

Stop pay toll.

'I gotta admit - this 'jury by my peers' idea of yours is looking pretty good.'

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

'If you can't afford a media adviser the court will appoint you one.'

'Overruled, you may continue.'

"I get that quite a bit. Actually, I'm a lawyer."

Clairvoyant - I want to divorce my husband. He's having an affair next week.

'He tripped over a pavement sign that said 'Have you had an accident that wasn't your fault?' So he called the number and sued them'

'Would you mind blowing into this bag Sir?'

"I can assure you, Your Honor, my client isn't a flight risk."

"I wasn't texting or eating and there's no law saying I can't juggle."

HEY!

' Of course you can see your lawyer..Here he is.'

Warning: Quitting smoking now will greatly reduce your chances of getting a piece of the settlement pie.

'Well, if you DNA made you do it, I'm sentencing your DNA to thirty years in prison.'

Where legal teams but their outfits.

'Equal protection of the law, my foot! -- That was RANK discrimination against bank robbers!'

'I'm afraid my gag order also applies to thought balloons, counselor.'

'Your Honor, I have nothing to hide.'

Dicorce lawyer: 'I can't promise you custody of your money. But I'll make darn sure you get full visitation rights!'

"We've decided to settle our of quart."

Three blind mice see personal injury lawyer: 'You've got a water-tight case here.'

'Throw yourself on the mercy of the court...'

Boy accused of vandalism pleads 'limited liability'

A-sexual activity will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.

"I know what Ally McBeal would do."

"When the game warden isn't looking, plant this little gun on the duck."

'It was terrible -- four and twenty of us baked in a pie.'

Talk about your tough judges †I was the bailiff!

'The prisons are full, so I'm going to knock some sense into you!'

"The visual aids budget is a little low."

"Hi Mom - Did you get my subpoena?"

'Admit it,you've been driving over the limit again,haven't you!'

"There better not be anything in there about the lust of food."

"I took aim, pulled the trigger, and then, suddenly, shots rang out."