Humorists Enjoying Legal Satire Gifts

' Of course you can see your lawyer..Here he is.'

'It's another corporate lawyer...do we want to buy a soul?'

Yawning barristers in court

'He started it!'

'I gotta admit - this 'jury by my peers' idea of yours is looking pretty good.'

My client is claiming that you have discriminated against him as a species, that your refusal to let him sniff client's bottoms is against his canine rights and that your policies have acted against him reaching partnership.

'It's all just an unfortunate misunderstanding, Your Honor, it was 'Talk Like a Pirate' day, and,,,,'

'Overruled, you may continue.'

'I bet this is going to be another round of criminal bashing, isn't it?'

"We calculated your age by how many hours you billed your clients, and you are at least 96."

'Judge Mental.'

Cop Shop/Fake evidence/Plant now for spring.

"In mitigation, Sunny Chemicals would like to point out that prior to contracting his skin allergy, Mr Crumb was already ugly."

The annual running of the lawyers.

'That's the last frivolous law suit I want to see any lawyer wearing in this court!'

"One soft drink and eleven stiff drinks."

"I sentence you 500 hours of community service - You can start by mopping this floor."

'I hope you don't mind. To save time and money, we've sworn in the firing squad as the jury.'

'Either it's a mistake, or this town's gone soft on crime.'

"I get that quite a bit. Actually, I'm a lawyer."

'I'd say you have a water-tight case there, boys.'

'I'm afraid that driving the getaway car is more than just a driving offence, Mr. Jones.'

'Could you recommend a fruit that works for lawyers?'

'Is your client qualified to give a urine sample.'

'They profiled me just because I'm a bank robber!'

'What could I have done? The defence's motion was written on legal tender.'

"You have the right to remain silent, anytime you cry can be used against you...."

Supreme court chairs with IV bags

'...and to you, he has left his leprosy.'

"Your Honor, it was a lot for any jury to be expected to believe...but we fell for it."

"We would like to request a change of venue to an entirely different legal system."

"I can't sue my insurance company because it was an act of god? Well, then, can I sue my church?"

'Not guilty by reason of millions of years of evolutionary selection for aggressive behavior, Your Honor.'

'I'm not kidding....my client is really insane!'

'My client wasn't going to keep the money, Your Honor - He only robbed the bank to get on a reality show.'