Late-night Shopper Gifts

'I'm sorry, Dear, but my shopping was so rushed I forgot the batteries for the smoke alarms.'

'Good evening sir.Just wondering if you'd like to sample Night-Mart's new range of A-positive.'

"Back here in 30 minutes?"

"Wake up Mrs. Jones. You're sleep shopping again."

Cut Price

Always empty your fridge before starting a diet.

A women in a shoeshop.

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

"I can't decide. I'm having a brand identity crisis."

"I shop, therefore I am."

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

'You must have been wearing your beer googles.'

"Yes, it's nice my husband has hoarded a fortune, but it would be nicer if he would let me spend some of it though..."

Goldilocks and the seventeen black shoulder bags

A young couple selects items from a shop.

'We don't know what it is but it was in the sale so we thought we'd better get one before they sold out.'

'French hypermarket' ' 5 English or less' till

Hips may appear larger than they actually are.

"If at first you don't succeed, buy, buy again."

"'IF modom decides to change it' - don't you mean WHEN??"

'Let's go and make some unfunded spending committments.'

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

It was a good chance to get together and talk shop.

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!

'Do you have this in a smaller size?'

"We're on our way to the mall to do some off-line shopping."

"I'll try them on at home. You can just return what doesn't fit."

Self-Checkout.

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

'But I think shopping three times a week is more than enough exercise!'

Irregulars

"I can't get the price sticker off this non stick pan, you sold me!"

"Tia Carmen, I think I'm growing up. I ate five slices of cold pizza at 3 in the morning...and I woke up with a stomachache."

"Come back to bed. You know sleep deprivation lowers your sales resistance."

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."