Late-night Shopper Pillows

'I'm sorry, Dear, but my shopping was so rushed I forgot the batteries for the smoke alarms.'

'Good evening sir.Just wondering if you'd like to sample Night-Mart's new range of A-positive.'

"Back here in 30 minutes?"

"Wake up Mrs. Jones. You're sleep shopping again."

Cut Price

Always empty your fridge before starting a diet.

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

A women in a shoeshop.

"I can't decide. I'm having a brand identity crisis."

"I shop, therefore I am."

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

"Yes, it's nice my husband has hoarded a fortune, but it would be nicer if he would let me spend some of it though..."

Goldilocks and the seventeen black shoulder bags

'We don't know what it is but it was in the sale so we thought we'd better get one before they sold out.'

A young couple selects items from a shop.

'French hypermarket' ' 5 English or less' till

"If at first you don't succeed, buy, buy again."

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

Hips may appear larger than they actually are.

'Let's go and make some unfunded spending committments.'

"'IF modom decides to change it' - don't you mean WHEN??"

It was a good chance to get together and talk shop.

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!

'Do you have this in a smaller size?'

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

Self-Checkout.

"We're on our way to the mall to do some off-line shopping."

"I'll try them on at home. You can just return what doesn't fit."

Irregulars

'But I think shopping three times a week is more than enough exercise!'

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

'In the war against full price, we are winning...'

"Tia Carmen, I think I'm growing up. I ate five slices of cold pizza at 3 in the morning...and I woke up with a stomachache."

"It's just - this McDonald's closes at midnight."

"I can't get the price sticker off this non stick pan, you sold me!"