Late-night Muncher Pillows

Fridge reads 'Keep your mouth shut!'.

Diet Enforcer

Always empty your fridge before starting a diet.

"Someone’s in the kitchen. Did you lock up my kibble?"

'You must have been wearing your beer googles.'

'At midnight, we go over the wall.'

"What the heck did I do with that leftover turkey?!"

''Romantic'? No -- but it makes me feel like having a CROISSANT!'

"Do you want the last piece, or can I have it?"

"It's the kind of trade you get in a twenty-four-hour-a-day joint."

'I see you're hacking the fridge again.'

"Tia Carmen, I think I'm growing up. I ate five slices of cold pizza at 3 in the morning...and I woke up with a stomachache."

The downside of the cupcake bed.

'I knew I needed help when I started going to fast food places only at night so I wouldn't have to share with sea gulls.'

Bedside Manna.

"It's just - this McDonald's closes at midnight."

Unbeknown to others, Thoreau would sometimes, in the middle of the night, sneak out for a few odds and ends.

'This fridge is fitted with CCTV.'

"People are inherently complicated, and if you eat it late enough at night, cereal can be dinner and breakfast!"

'I don't leave until I've heard all 25 songs.'

'I woke up in February, and couldn't get back to sleep, so I got up, killed and ate a moose.'

Mouse shopping after hours

"Congratulations! For checking the fridge 30 times in under an hour, you've won something that you actually want to eat!"

'Hello, yes, I'd like to order 200 packs of the sweets you can eat between meals.'

Pizza and Related Searches.

Unbeknown to other, Thoreau would sometimes, in the middle of the night, sneak out for a few odds and ends.

'You were up four times last night.'

"If you're as smart a refrigerator as they say you are, you'll keep your mouth shut about this."

I know you wanted a virgin but it's all I could find at this time on a Friday night.

'OK, remain calm. Who's missing? Milk? Eggs? Cheese? Where'd they go? How much do they know? And will they talk?'

The Cat that Ate the Canary, 3 a.m.

'That's the last time I have cheese for supper...!'

We're never going to lose weight if we don't get rid of the fridge light.

Al, do you ever go back in time and try to pinpoint moments when you made bad life choices? Actually, after an episode of gastric distress this morning, I journeyed back in time to last night. I pinpointed midnight as the moment, and I pinpointed pizza as a bad life choice.

"You're home, dear. We don't have room service."