Late-night Shopping Gifts

"It's the kind of trade you get at an all-night supermarket, kid."

Always empty your fridge before starting a diet.

"I can't decide. I'm having a brand identity crisis."

'You must have been wearing your beer googles.'

'French hypermarket' ' 5 English or less' till

'You've got the wrong idiot, number.'

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!

"Tia Carmen, I think I'm growing up. I ate five slices of cold pizza at 3 in the morning...and I woke up with a stomachache."

"It's just - this McDonald's closes at midnight."

"It's only insomnia if there's nothing good on."

'Cool, a wheel. Now you can take me shopping.'

'This fridge is fitted with CCTV.'

David Letterman

'Good evening sir.Just wondering if you'd like to sample Night-Mart's new range of A-positive.'

'I don't leave until I've heard all 25 songs.'

"Damn it, who ate all the chèvre?"

Mouse shopping after hours

Adrenaline is flowing down there with lots of last-minute, panicked Christmas shoppers! The DNA is frantically looking for heirlooms that'll be passed on in succeeding generations. It seems no price is too high for the helium atom - it's buying everything! Meanwhile, the neutron can't charge and hasn't been able to buy a single gift! Tempers are getting short! A big nerve angered other shoppers by blatantly cutting in the checkout line! And there's a quarrel over a parking spot with a whit

'I promised my Dad I'd be home by ten but I didn't say if that was P.M. or A.M..'

Diet Enforcer

"Back here in 30 minutes?"

"If you're as smart a refrigerator as they say you are, you'll keep your mouth shut about this."

The Cat that Ate the Canary, 3 a.m.

Health Centre/All Night Stress Counselling

I know you wanted a virgin but it's all I could find at this time on a Friday night.

'That's the last time I have cheese for supper...!'

'Face it, 24 hour grocery stores were made for people like us.'

"It's all set. If your husband tries to get into the fridge after 9pm he'll receive an electrical shock

Last-Minute Gifts

Eulogy: I shopped Til I Dropped

'Let's keep it simple -- stop serving me when you run out of beer.'

"The trouble with this town is there is no day life."

'The students must be back then.'

"I'm sorry you've got a sudden craving for nachos, Mrs. Hacksburry, but I really don't want to open the store right now!"

Ladies Lingerie.