Laptop Jokesters Gifts

'I'm a lap cat. So, naturally I prefer a laptop.'

'You must have been wearing your beer googles.'

"Darn autocorrect!"

'Maybe we have the wrong subject for this brain mapping project.'

Press Any Key. No, Not That One.

"I think you should hire me for my vast software knowledge. . . and then pay for me to go learn software."

'I think the computer has a crush on me. It asked me to remain after class.'

"Don't forget the nucleus has mass."

'The problem seems to be in the memory bank.'

"...and we hope that, for a cyber-crime, you will consider a cyber-penalty."

"I thought he would run all sorts of scientific tests."

Great progress has been made in the science of genetic clowning.

"Come on, dear...you can't blame everything on Russian hackers."

'He's just de-man's-best-friended me.'

The Screeeen!

'Okay! Who changed my screensaver?'

'At the moment, it's only weakness is flypaper.' - (spyplane research dept.)

"I'm disabling autocorrect, because it reminds me too much of my mother-in-law."

Witch uses broom from broom share program.

Relativity explained; the woman on the train will always appear more attractive than the woman on the platform.

'When I said you will get an office with windows, I was referring to the operating system on the computer.'

Cloud computing.

To put your right foot in, press 5...to take it out, press 6... to put...

'They had a lot more authority on horses, don't you think? It's hard to take them seriously on those things.'

"Try switching if off and on at the same time."

Homework eating dogs

'Common cold? We thought you said 'caramel corn!''

'When I asked for funding of my rooster egg laying research, I was told the chick is in the male.'

"Stand back? corrupt file."

'You lacked the necessary maturity to see this project through ... NAH-NAH A YEAH YEAH!'

"These stem cells taste funny."

"Turns out I'm not the wise old paramecium I thought I was."

"In the end we decided to name him PJZK45Mz! So we could remember our computer's password."

"OK, I'll go to my room, but one day I'll get back at you by going to college and putting you into deep financial debt."

I think you're using the old remote...