Internet Jokesters Gifts

Downloading personal items on the company laptop.

Man lies online saying that he is not married and his wife hits him over the head with her rolling pin.

"Of course the computer's laughing at your stupid questions. You're using Giggle, not Google!"

"There are easier ways to boot someone off our WI-FI network."

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

"It's World Cup Soccer, Tia Carmen. The U.S. vs England."

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

Chasebook

"I've edited your Wikipedia entry again, Sadie. You're about to be inundated with phone calls from the press." "Whatever, geek-boy." "You're now the world's foremost authority on Turkey leprosy, the disease that's threatening to ruin the holidays." "No one'll believe that." "Oh yeah? I wrote a Wikipedia page for Turkey leprosy, too, along with examples of all the historical figures it's killed, such as the Archduke of Crushistan." "There is no 'Crushistan.'" "I've written a Wikipedia entry for C

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

"Your therapy will be a combination of drugs and clowns."

"Someone has hacked into our Computer."

"But you didn't say they had to make sense - you just told us to write a thousand words a day."

'One hundred and forty? You don't look a day over one hundred and thirty nine!'

"I have to give you credit. You're a pit bull and you're nice on and offline."

Student to math teacher: 'My dog ate my homework and got arithmetics.'

That isn't what prove you're not a robot means, Bob.

Man on desert island using elastic to shoot him off the island.

"This is our most practical model. It comes with a 21-year warranty."

"...and we hope that, for a cyber-crime, you will consider a cyber-penalty."

'What, not even a kiss first?'

Hey boss, that generic soap you gave me isn't really cleaning the cups. Mind if I go get some brand name stuff? Are you insane? There's zero difference between generic and brand name products. Corporate America just cons people into thinking "you get what you pay for." Don't be a stooge, Rudy. Don't fall for it. Now get in there and scrub those cups, minion! Strike a blow for the little guy against corporate lies! Wait ... I'm very confused. Are you a right-winger or a left-winger? You mean in w

"Remember, the password is case sensitive."

Whatcha doing, dad? I'm at work. Logging on. Tree's Tree Nursery.

Dorothy gets a visit from her funny Valentine.

"Your toilet water over ice, sir. And how is the homework?"

"The good news is that you will have a healthy baby girl. The bad news is that she is a congenital liar."

'You should see a doctor. Maybe you have that West Nile thing.'

Clerk: 'Boy that Delivery guy sure has a THICK accent!'

Peniteniary for the terminally silly.

"We're having a problem naming him. All the domain names we like are already taken!"

'I can't make it, I'm dead.'

That's no largemouth bass, son - You caught yourself a rare blabbermouth bass. I'm nothin'! A nobody! Throw me back and I'll show you where the really big fish are!

"You know darn well my maiden name wasn't Rex. Why do you ask?"