Computer Jokester Gifts

Press Any Key. No, Not That One.

God works in mysterious ways.

'I think the computer has a crush on me. It asked me to remain after class.'

"I was going to play the Moonlight Sonata, but I forgot the key."

Terry had a computer bug.

Hardware and software

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

"I've edited your Wikipedia entry again, Sadie. You're about to be inundated with phone calls from the press." "Whatever, geek-boy." "You're now the world's foremost authority on Turkey leprosy, the disease that's threatening to ruin the holidays." "No one'll believe that." "Oh yeah? I wrote a Wikipedia page for Turkey leprosy, too, along with examples of all the historical figures it's killed, such as the Archduke of Crushistan." "There is no 'Crushistan.'" "I've written a Wikipedia entry for C

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

Human Sex Chromosomes: Female/Male/Male Who Leaves Fly Open.

Pyramid (Drawn from memory) (Pretty accurate)

"I think you should hire me for my vast software knowledge. . . and then pay for me to go learn software."

"Are you sure this is a 'Flu virus?" "See for yourself...it's nose is running!"

"Someone has hacked into our Computer."

'One placebo or two, doctor?'

Physics Improv. "I now vill be taking suggestions from ze audience..."

'The problem seems to be in the memory bank.'

'Don't you hate it when they look BACK at you?'

A fisherman reacts as he sees a drone flying over the lake with a fishing line into the water below.

That isn't what prove you're not a robot means, Bob.

'If you don't behave we'll unfreeze your stem cells!'

'It does data processing, word processing and list processing. Get me some data, some words and some lists.'

'Sir, we're receiving a signal from space. It might be a candidate for possible intelligent alien life!' 'Nice going you ninny, you butt-dialled Earth! Now they're going to know we exist!'

"...and we hope that, for a cyber-crime, you will consider a cyber-penalty."

"It's the formula for a black hole."

'I was told it required a log-in...'

"Alarmingly, after five minutes the pool had come no closer."

At first, Moses was worried about the manna from heaven.

"Remember, the password is case sensitive."

Whatcha doing, dad? I'm at work. Logging on. Tree's Tree Nursery.

'But it may be easier to understand the meaning of bioengineered life.'

'Lately, I've been thinking a lot about evolution. My theory is that it all points to 'survival of the fattest'.'

"Information is moved via neurotransmitters from neuron to neuron via the synapses into the brain where it is then retrieved by the memory via a slap on the back of the head."

"Ah - The 'Big Gang' theory."

'What are you talking about? ? how can you have half a quantum theory?'