Coding Jokesters Gifts

"That's the craziest 1100110101001 thing I've ever heard! Pardon my binary."

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

"It's World Cup Soccer, Tia Carmen. The U.S. vs England."

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

Hardware and software

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

"I've edited your Wikipedia entry again, Sadie. You're about to be inundated with phone calls from the press." "Whatever, geek-boy." "You're now the world's foremost authority on Turkey leprosy, the disease that's threatening to ruin the holidays." "No one'll believe that." "Oh yeah? I wrote a Wikipedia page for Turkey leprosy, too, along with examples of all the historical figures it's killed, such as the Archduke of Crushistan." "There is no 'Crushistan.'" "I've written a Wikipedia entry for C

Press Any Key. No, Not That One.

'I think the computer has a crush on me. It asked me to remain after class.'

Twitter that!

"Your therapy will be a combination of drugs and clowns."

"Someone has hacked into our Computer."

That isn't what prove you're not a robot means, Bob.

'One hundred and forty? You don't look a day over one hundred and thirty nine!'

Student to math teacher: 'My dog ate my homework and got arithmetics.'

'Sorry, Kevin. You have given an incorrect command.'

A fisherman reacts as he sees a drone flying over the lake with a fishing line into the water below.

'Sir, we're receiving a signal from space. It might be a candidate for possible intelligent alien life!' 'Nice going you ninny, you butt-dialled Earth! Now they're going to know we exist!'

"This is our most practical model. It comes with a 21-year warranty."

"...and we hope that, for a cyber-crime, you will consider a cyber-penalty."

'What, not even a kiss first?'

Tech Corp: Personnel Openings - We've reached our quota of nerds, but we are looking to hire geeks.

At the Brew-haha Comedy Club

"Remember, the password is case sensitive."

Whatcha doing, dad? I'm at work. Logging on. Tree's Tree Nursery.

Dorothy gets a visit from her funny Valentine.

"Your toilet water over ice, sir. And how is the homework?"

"The good news is that you will have a healthy baby girl. The bad news is that she is a congenital liar."

Peniteniary for the terminally silly.

Clerk: 'Boy that Delivery guy sure has a THICK accent!'

'He's just de-man's-best-friended me.'

That's no largemouth bass, son - You caught yourself a rare blabbermouth bass. I'm nothin'! A nobody! Throw me back and I'll show you where the really big fish are!

"I only surf the web for the Java and cookies."

"You know darn well my maiden name wasn't Rex. Why do you ask?"