Lantern Lover Pillows

"Oh, I'm not looking for an honest man anymore, just someone whose lies I can detect."

December: Neglect of the garden now will mean hard work next season - so keep at it.

Earth Hour is like a short dayight saving only it's in the dark.

'The guy looked honest!'

Right way

"I'll settle for a man with a few misdemeanors!"

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

'He likes to power nap.'

'One eye of newt or two?'

'It's a note...It says I.O.U. one pot of gold.'

Here be dragons.

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

A vampire sitting on a park bench at night feeding bats.

Lady of the bath...

"There it was again...SOOIE! And then she realized the pig call was coming from inside the house!"

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

Candle Portraits.

Doglike man to vampire: 'Call me an apprentice werewolf, or even a beginner werewolf, but don't call me an under werewolf!'

"Fred's had too much to drink - now he's hitting on that old coat rack."

"I don't care what you thought you saw,l there are no such things as people"

Trick or Tweet

An old-time engineer enters the cockpit on a flight.

Myths and legends...

"Is it true Dad...is the Earth really made of bleu cheese?"

"What are you kids going to be for Halloween?"

"Oh, this? Crazy story..."

"Had more ghost-hunters 'round my place last night....scared the daylights outta me!"

'Good work pulling the sword from the stone. Now, how 'bout loosening the lid on the magic pickle jar?'

"I miss the Augean stables."

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

A Knight Arrives at a Boiling Lake Filled with Monsters (Don Quixote).

'Ya gotta love the way this farmer gets into Halloween spirit.'

"It's our latest scent...Dryer Sheet."

"Sweetie, I'm back from the dead!"

"What are you doing? It's Halloween. Not leaving your deliveries to the last minute this year?"