Lantern Lover Gifts

"Oh, I'm not looking for an honest man anymore, just someone whose lies I can detect."

December: Neglect of the garden now will mean hard work next season - so keep at it.

Earth Hour is like a short dayight saving only it's in the dark.

'The guy looked honest!'

Right way

"I'll settle for a man with a few misdemeanors!"

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

'He likes to power nap.'

'One eye of newt or two?'

'It's a note...It says I.O.U. one pot of gold.'

Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster have some fun with the tourists...

Here be dragons.

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

Lady of the bath...

A vampire sitting on a park bench at night feeding bats.

"Fred's had too much to drink - now he's hitting on that old coat rack."

"There it was again...SOOIE! And then she realized the pig call was coming from inside the house!"

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

Candle Portraits.

Doglike man to vampire: 'Call me an apprentice werewolf, or even a beginner werewolf, but don't call me an under werewolf!'

'Awesome mummy costume!' 'I'm a pirate! Some kids just TPed me...'

"I don't care what you thought you saw,l there are no such things as people"

'Good work pulling the sword from the stone. Now, how 'bout loosening the lid on the magic pickle jar?'

Myths and legends...

"Eye of pie...a**e of rat...p**s of newt."

"Had more ghost-hunters 'round my place last night....scared the daylights outta me!"

An old-time engineer enters the cockpit on a flight.

"I miss the Augean stables."

"Is it true Dad...is the Earth really made of bleu cheese?"

"Oh, this? Crazy story..."

Trick or Tweet

"What are you kids going to be for Halloween?"

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

'Ya gotta love the way this farmer gets into Halloween spirit.'

A Knight Arrives at a Boiling Lake Filled with Monsters (Don Quixote).