Language Luminaries Gifts

"This would be a lot easier if they didn't make us include the vowels."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

Campaign for Plain English

"That was totally....what's the word I'm looking for?"

So far the coaching exchange program was hitting a few snags.

"My nephew Jack here can say ‘I’m unemployed’ in seven languages."

Shell Fire

'My manuscript is available for download on the internet. I'll email the link to you.'

Learn to Be a Critic In The Privacy Of Your Own Home With The Apex Correspondence School Of Criticism!

How a poet works

Bee to bee: 'We used buzzwords before they were trendy.'

"Carpe pizza"

How I Spent My Summer Vacation: Page One

"Why do people think using big words is a bad thing?"

"Grammar-police, sir, we have some questions about your online posts and the inappropriate use of apostrophes."

'You failed your Latin exam! But Sweety, it's important to learn Latin: All your friends' names have Latin roots...'

Deconstructionist girlfriend

'Yes, sure, certainly, you bet, of course, yeah, right, yep....'

'She said her first 'I hate you' today.'

"I can never remember, does 'barge' have one snake-head jackal, or two?"

"Frank, how many times do I have to tell you, it's a posse, not a search engine."

"And for you older folks, the current time is 'nowadays.'"

"Wall to wall carpet. Shouldn't that be wall to wall to wall to wall carpet?"

Spell-Check Bee

"Sprechen ze MOO MOO?"

'My people have 253 words for snow, but only three for sub-prime mortgage.'

Clerk: 'Boy that Delivery guy sure has a THICK accent!'

'Too-Wit-Woola-Bool-Kerla-Bam-Boo!'