Language Luminary Gifts

"Why do people think using big words is a bad thing?"

Lennon and McCartney.

The Hobby Store

"It's a play on words."

Ninedency: A budding tendency

How to Deal With Leftover Turkey

'He's written some great slogans and some great labels, but he's never written a great coupon.'

"Carpe pizza"

"Grammar-police, sir, we have some questions about your online posts and the inappropriate use of apostrophes."

"Negotiations are at a crucial phase. We're desperately seeking more ways to say 'no'.''

"This medical dictionary has had it's appendix taken out. . . !"

'They call me the 'grandfather' of Hip-Hop!'

Emergency Firebreaker

John takes a personivacation.

Passover Plague

James Russell Lowell

"Talk long-term commitment to me."

Leonard Cohen.

Algernon Swinburne

Lockdown Signpost

'Then it's agreed. It doesn't have to rhyme.'

"This would be a lot easier if they didn't make us include the vowels."

Beet Poet

Support your local bookstore

Today's lesson: the plague of darkness

"I think the lighthouse keeper is having a little fun with us, sir."

"I'm pretty sure the word you've used to describe the new Scrabble isn't allowed."

Top 10 things to worry about in 2020.

'I think I may be lactose intolerant.'

"It takes more to be a super accountant that you were a 'super accountant man' costume."

"The Bolsons are pleased to announce that their daughter, Naomi,is going to take another shot at marriage."

'What the large print giveth, the small print taketh away.'

'Spotting the jacal in the rille left him roupy.'

Corona and the Arts

"I'm on a special diet; no school food."