Lyrical Luminary Gifts

'They call me the 'grandfather' of Hip-Hop!'

Lennon and McCartney.

The Hobby Store

'Never mind singing it in rap... a simple 'I do' will suffice.'

How to Deal With Leftover Turkey

'He's written some great slogans and some great labels, but he's never written a great coupon.'

"Why do people think using big words is a bad thing?"

"This is my own arrangement...of a song I wrote...about me."

"Well, we've for the melody down now, but I'm still not sure about the part where it goes, '...and they call the wind Dorcas Schnickelbaum.'"

"Negotiations are at a crucial phase. We're desperately seeking more ways to say 'no'.''

Emergency Firebreaker

'Would everyone please join hands for a moment? I'd like to try jump-starting this meeting!'

'The music business.'

Passover Plague

"This lovely song tall of a young woman on a spring day...happily comes across a fluorimeter with a fluid transfer system..."

James Russell Lowell

Leonard Cohen.

Lockdown Signpost

"The company apparently lacks LEADERSHIP. We need to think about the possibility of setting up a policy group...."

Algernon Swinburne

'Then it's agreed. It doesn't have to rhyme.'

'The country just may not be ready for patriotic rap.'

Beet Poet

Today's lesson: the plague of darkness

"I think the lighthouse keeper is having a little fun with us, sir."

"I'm pretty sure the word you've used to describe the new Scrabble isn't allowed."

Top 10 things to worry about in 2020.

Support your local bookstore

Robert Schumann

"This here is a little number I wrote when I recovered a repressed memory."

'This is a song about losing something you dearly love, searching for it everywhere and finally finding it only to lose it again. I call it 'Lookin' for my remote in all the wrong places'!'

"The Bolsons are pleased to announce that their daughter, Naomi,is going to take another shot at marriage."

"Buck, Duck, Luck, Muck...." - Rap Rhyming Dictionary

"I've got rhythm, music, my girl - check. But somehow I still want more."

"It takes more to be a super accountant that you were a 'super accountant man' costume."