Language Luminaries Prints

"This would be a lot easier if they didn't make us include the vowels."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

Campaign for Plain English

"That was totally....what's the word I'm looking for?"

'There it is, 'Twerk', right next to 'Twerp'.'

"My nephew Jack here can say ‘I’m unemployed’ in seven languages."

Shell Fire

So far the coaching exchange program was hitting a few snags.

'My manuscript is available for download on the internet. I'll email the link to you.'

Learn to Be a Critic In The Privacy Of Your Own Home With The Apex Correspondence School Of Criticism!

How a poet works

"Why do people think using big words is a bad thing?"

Frank & Ernest. Signe Painted. Cosmetology Dept. That should be "cosmology"! Why do you always get those two confused? I always think the one about space should have an "et" in it.

"Carpe pizza"

Bee to bee: 'We used buzzwords before they were trendy.'

How I Spent My Summer Vacation: Page One

'They speak fish!'

"Grammar-police, sir, we have some questions about your online posts and the inappropriate use of apostrophes."

'You failed your Latin exam! But Sweety, it's important to learn Latin: All your friends' names have Latin roots...'

'Yes, sure, certainly, you bet, of course, yeah, right, yep....'

'She said her first 'I hate you' today.'

Deconstructionist girlfriend

Spell-Check Bee

You know, Lars, you really should ask the waiter for a whine list. If it weren't for the fact that I can see the spelling in your word balloon, that insult would have gone right over my head.

"Wall to wall carpet. Shouldn't that be wall to wall to wall to wall carpet?"

What Do You Do When You're Caring For Someone with Alzheimer's?

"Frank, how many times do I have to tell you, it's a posse, not a search engine."

"And for you older folks, the current time is 'nowadays.'"

"I can never remember, does 'barge' have one snake-head jackal, or two?"

"Sprechen ze MOO MOO?"

Clerk: 'Boy that Delivery guy sure has a THICK accent!'

'My people have 253 words for snow, but only three for sub-prime mortgage.'

'Bone appetit!'

Scrabble for dyslectics