Land Surveying Gifts

"That's it - I've had it up to here with measurement devices."

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

When Engineers Crack.

"Exactly how undecided would you say you were at this precise moment?"

Hello, this is Cable News. Oh. I'm Mortimer Park. As you know, we only have four short years until the next presidential election. So it's time to start asking: Who should run? Whom do you prefer? (A) Al Gore … (B) John Kerry … (C) Marco Rubio … (D) Ted Cruz ... (E) Christ Christie ... House of Java Cybercafe. How about (F) You? Mr. Eugene Yu is actually (T).

"You're right -- this town is big enough for the both of us."

'I'm studying the lay of the land..'

'Promise me you'll say Yes / No / Don't know ...'

Explorer with enormous magnifying glass.

"Bob wait, let's do the survey first! Sir, on a scale of 1, poor, to 10, excellent, how would you rate our chase today?"

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

'Please, Ma'am — I'm running out of paper!'

"Sold his air rights."

'Can you spare a minute, madam - I'm doing a king of all I survey.'

Why the discovery of the New World took longer than expected.

"You call yourselves a demographic?"

'What makes you think the basement leaks?'

"No, he's not in right now, he's out demographing."

'For? Against? Undecided? Uniformed? Apathetic? This is one accurate poll!'

"I see you have experience marking territory."

"A survey found 82% of people think surveys are a waste of time."

'Don't worry. The first 30 years of being an inspector are the hardest.'

'Yes. No. Sometimes. No. No. Yes. Don't know. Sometimes. Yes. Mo.'

"Would you have a moment to take a short survey about your experience?"

"Our latest survey shows our customers basically want just three things: prompt service, and apology when mistakes occur and to be treated politely..."

'5.40pm on the 2nd day....and still waiting for the surveyor'

Surveys and economic interests

"Oh dear! Low-cost housing."

"A new survey shows only 3% of Americans take surveys, but everyone believes the stupid things."

Results of the Tropical Fish Sex Survey

'I wonder if you would like to subscribe to a theory.'

Pollsters: Mori, Gallup and Just Nosey.

Join the Army! And see the world! Satellite reconnaissance photo analysis division.

"Rate your experience and you could win an Amazon gift voucher."