Laboratory Aficionado Gifts

Student to student: 'Our chemistry lab finals went well. The firemen just left.'

"What's the matter professor?" - "H2O+Sodium Chloride"

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

'Poor Kleinzweck -- his working hypothesis got laid off.'

"I hope he has skeletons in his closet."

''Science moves but slowly, slowly, creeping on from point to point.' Tennyson.'

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

"I am not asking for directions."

Wilhelm Rontgen's first attempt at X-rays: shining a bright light through Madame Rontgen.

'How about a toast to my breakthrough?!'

"What lead you to growing human tests in a test tube?"

''Science moves but slowly, slowly, creeping on from point to point'. Tennyson.'

Plasma Ball

"If we crunch the numbers, it should have zero calories."

'I'm growing mini human brains from stem cells.'

It's an experiment.

'I'm inventing an acid that eats through anything.'

'Wow! Oh, wait -- It's only a Nobel consolation prize.'

'Hey, it's that peeping Tom again, the one who has no respect for privacy.'

Plasma Ball

"Okay, who's been messing with the copy machine?"

'And this is scraps.'

'You've made a breakthrough in FINANCIAL research?', 'Yep! - I split the ATM!'

"Hey, at least you got a severance package."

'I'm trying to turn gold into gasoline.'

"At this point, we know it's addictive."

'I sure wish there was a formula for picking the right mutual fund!'

"I feel so seen right now."

'Richard, Benjamin Franklin already proved that theory.'

"Maybe Earth's primordial soup did contain polyester."

"The search for a new painkiller has been a real headache."

'Sorry, Professor Kleinzweck -- your 'Chaos Theory' program just crashed.'

"Stop being creative and discover something already."

Impartial Testing: "Eeny, meeny, money, moe..."