Laboratory Humor Aficionado Gifts

"Between you and me, I'm on performance enhancing drugs."

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

"I thought you wanted me to change."

'I wish they'd hurry up and fix the wind tunnel.'

Genetic Fingerprinting.

'If we were in the Renaissance, we'd be painting nativity scenes right now.'

"Perkins! What have you gone and done now...??"

Happy Bifurcation Day,

'You knew I was a mad scientist when you married me!'

'A little squirt like Graubart would theorize that the Universe is contracting!'

Frankenfish

Bacterial Cultural Center

'Dude, that big creepy eye is back.'

'The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your actions.'

'Your test results are in - and here's a first, the Lab Techs have asked to meet you.'

'We've proven without a doubt, that this particle has a negative charge. Unfortunately, an accelerator in Switzerland has proven, without a doubt, that it has a positive charge.'

DNA Xmas.

'Doctor, one placebo or two with your tea?'

'It took some doing, but I finally traced my roots back to the first amoeba.'

'He's making tremendous progress. last week he had three tails.'

'So, what do you think of my first attempt at making homemade wine?'

Bacterial Culture

"Blast it, Perkins, not again!"

Dr. Prebish didn't always fit in with the other scientists.

"Whoa, whoa – for all I know you contaminated the sample."

"I think we've been wasting out time testing phones on rats. We already know phones are addictive."

Laboratory- risk assessor

Hazardous substance - ignitable, corrosive, reactive, toxic, real smelly, yucchy.

"You say genetically modified po-tay-to, I say genetically modified po-tah-to."

'Success! We created a drug that is effective, quick-acting, and expensive.'

'Whine, whine, whine!' You know what your problem is, Baxter? You're not a team player!'

'Yes, Sir, I'm still testing the new truth serum. I slept with your wife.'

"Now watch his reaction when I cough on him."