Laboratory Humor Gifts

"Now watch his reaction when I cough on him."

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

"His first out-of-body experience."

"I thought you wanted me to change."

'I wish they'd hurry up and fix the wind tunnel.'

Genetic Fingerprinting.

"Perkins! What have you gone and done now...??"

Happy Bifurcation Day,

'There must be some way we can capitalize on that damn boson.'

'A little squirt like Graubart would theorize that the Universe is contracting!'

'You knew I was a mad scientist when you married me!'

Frankenfish

Bacterial Cultural Center

'Dude, that big creepy eye is back.'

'The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your actions.'

'Your test results are in - and here's a first, the Lab Techs have asked to meet you.'

'We've proven without a doubt, that this particle has a negative charge. Unfortunately, an accelerator in Switzerland has proven, without a doubt, that it has a positive charge.'

DNA Xmas.

'Doctor, one placebo or two with your tea?'

'Kleinzweck has a theory that the strong nuclear force is actually tiny rolls of duct tape.'

'It took some doing, but I finally traced my roots back to the first amoeba.'

'He's making tremendous progress. last week he had three tails.'

Bacterial Culture

"Blast it, Perkins, not again!"

Dr. Prebish didn't always fit in with the other scientists.

"Whoa, whoa – for all I know you contaminated the sample."

Laboratory- risk assessor

"You say genetically modified po-tay-to, I say genetically modified po-tah-to."

'The stand-up geneticist'

"I think we've been wasting out time testing phones on rats. We already know phones are addictive."

'Success! We created a drug that is effective, quick-acting, and expensive.'

'Whine, whine, whine!' You know what your problem is, Baxter? You're not a team player!'

'Here's the problem, sir. This isn't blood in your veins. It's red ink.'