Lab Humorist Gifts

'They hate it when you carry the test tubes that way.'

Bacterial Culture

Bacterial Cultural Center

'Dude, that big creepy eye is back.'

A man trips over the safety manual.

'Just relax, Greg, and get in touch with your inner chromatographer.'

'I appreciate what you've done for science ... now drop the bonus request, or I'll swat you.'

'Please, no work boots or dirty genes.'

'Whine, whine, whine!' You know what your problem is, Baxter? You're not a team player!'

"I'm afraid we disagree on the definition of random."

'Don't mind Ashley. After looking through a microscope all day, anything large startles him.'

'Yes, Sir, I'm still testing the new truth serum. I slept with your wife.'

DNA Xmas.

'I wish they'd hurry up and fix the wind tunnel.'

'It's a group plan, but everyone must submit a separate urine sample.'

'Fooling-around-with-strange-chemicals-during-a-break rota.'

' What Austrian bio-chemist is wasting his time with false anti-body leads?' Say - our journal has a gossip column!'

Happy Bifurcation Day,

'Water! Water!. . .Spectrophotometer! Spectrophotometer!'

'We've proven without a doubt, that this particle has a negative charge. Unfortunately, an accelerator in Switzerland has proven, without a doubt, that it has a positive charge.'

"Whoa, whoa – for all I know you contaminated the sample."

"Your drug test came back negative, and the lab requested that you cut back on the asparagus."

"On future reports, use the term ' microscopic', rather than 'itsy-bitsy'."

"You really have a great sense of tumor."

"I hate the team approach."

'Doctor, one placebo or two with your tea?'

'There's an air of gravity around the lab today.'

'All right. Where'd you get the steroids?'

"That's been viewed four times already."

"So, thought you could use your mutated rate to intimidate me into increasing your funding, eh? Well, think again, bucko!"

'Why don't you look at ME that way?'

"Extracting proteins from ancient bones is a complex business. . ."

'After hours at the piano lab.'

'He's making tremendous progress. last week he had three tails.'

'It took some doing, but I finally traced my roots back to the first amoeba.'