Lab Life Humorist Gifts

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

Infectious Diseases Lab. I don't care how you collected bugs as kids. We don't poke holes in the containers here.

"His first out-of-body experience."

Fusion Lab. Did you tell the boss we need more hydrogen? Yes, I told him we were out of our element.

"I thought you wanted me to change."

'I wish they'd hurry up and fix the wind tunnel.'

'Maybe we have the wrong subject for this brain mapping project.'

Genetic Fingerprinting.

"Perkins! What have you gone and done now...??"

'I can validate both your feelings and your parking.'

Happy Bifurcation Day,

'A little squirt like Graubart would theorize that the Universe is contracting!'

'You knew I was a mad scientist when you married me!'

Frankenfish

Bacterial Cultural Center

'Dude, that big creepy eye is back.'

'The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your actions.'

'Your test results are in - and here's a first, the Lab Techs have asked to meet you.'

DNA Xmas.

'We've proven without a doubt, that this particle has a negative charge. Unfortunately, an accelerator in Switzerland has proven, without a doubt, that it has a positive charge.'

You inserted donkey DNA into an insect? I made a braying mantis!

Great progress has been made in the science of genetic clowning.

"On Monday, they will introduce a new office layout and you'll be near Judy, who isn't good at sharing her charger. . ."

"I thought he would run all sorts of scientific tests."

'He's making tremendous progress. last week he had three tails.'

'Doctor, one placebo or two with your tea?'

'It took some doing, but I finally traced my roots back to the first amoeba.'

Bacterial Culture

Dr. Prebish didn't always fit in with the other scientists.

"Whoa, whoa – for all I know you contaminated the sample."

"And that was my day at the office. Thanks, Alice, you've been a great audience!"

Laboratory- risk assessor

'The stand-up geneticist'

Ape Lab. Really?! Those guys are going to test our intelligence?! They want to see if we'll use a ladder to get the banana. They say they're testing our problem-solving ability. Hey, Frank, we can't do the experiment today ... The ladder won't fit through the doorway!

"I think we've been wasting out time testing phones on rats. We already know phones are addictive."