Laboratory Comedian Gifts

'You knew I was a mad scientist when you married me!'

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

"His first out-of-body experience."

Fusion Lab. Did you tell the boss we need more hydrogen? Yes, I told him we were out of our element.

"I thought you wanted me to change."

'I wish they'd hurry up and fix the wind tunnel.'

'Maybe we have the wrong subject for this brain mapping project.'

'If we were in the Renaissance, we'd be painting nativity scenes right now.'

Genetic Fingerprinting.

"Perkins! What have you gone and done now...??"

Happy Bifurcation Day,

'There must be some way we can capitalize on that damn boson.'

'A little squirt like Graubart would theorize that the Universe is contracting!'

Frankenfish

Bacterial Cultural Center

'Dude, that big creepy eye is back.'

'The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your actions.'

'Your test results are in - and here's a first, the Lab Techs have asked to meet you.'

'We've proven without a doubt, that this particle has a negative charge. Unfortunately, an accelerator in Switzerland has proven, without a doubt, that it has a positive charge.'

DNA Xmas.

Great progress has been made in the science of genetic clowning.

'Kleinzweck has a theory that the strong nuclear force is actually tiny rolls of duct tape.'

'It took some doing, but I finally traced my roots back to the first amoeba.'

'Doctor, one placebo or two with your tea?'

'He's making tremendous progress. last week he had three tails.'

You inserted donkey DNA into an insect? I made a braying mantis!

"I thought he would run all sorts of scientific tests."

Bacterial Culture

"Blast it, Perkins, not again!"

Dr. Prebish didn't always fit in with the other scientists.

"Whoa, whoa – for all I know you contaminated the sample."

Laboratory- risk assessor

"I think we've been wasting out time testing phones on rats. We already know phones are addictive."

"You say genetically modified po-tay-to, I say genetically modified po-tah-to."

Ape Lab. Really?! Those guys are going to test our intelligence?! They want to see if we'll use a ladder to get the banana. They say they're testing our problem-solving ability. Hey, Frank, we can't do the experiment today ... The ladder won't fit through the doorway!