Laboratory Comedian Pillows

'You knew I was a mad scientist when you married me!'

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

"His first out-of-body experience."

"I thought you wanted me to change."

'I wish they'd hurry up and fix the wind tunnel.'

'Maybe we have the wrong subject for this brain mapping project.'

Genetic Fingerprinting.

'If we were in the Renaissance, we'd be painting nativity scenes right now.'

"Perkins! What have you gone and done now...??"

'There must be some way we can capitalize on that damn boson.'

Happy Bifurcation Day,

'A little squirt like Graubart would theorize that the Universe is contracting!'

Frankenfish

Bacterial Cultural Center

'Dude, that big creepy eye is back.'

'The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your actions.'

'Your test results are in - and here's a first, the Lab Techs have asked to meet you.'

'We've proven without a doubt, that this particle has a negative charge. Unfortunately, an accelerator in Switzerland has proven, without a doubt, that it has a positive charge.'

DNA Xmas.

'He's making tremendous progress. last week he had three tails.'

Great progress has been made in the science of genetic clowning.

'Kleinzweck has a theory that the strong nuclear force is actually tiny rolls of duct tape.'

"I thought he would run all sorts of scientific tests."

'Doctor, one placebo or two with your tea?'

'It took some doing, but I finally traced my roots back to the first amoeba.'

Bacterial Culture

"Blast it, Perkins, not again!"

Dr. Prebish didn't always fit in with the other scientists.

"Whoa, whoa – for all I know you contaminated the sample."

"You say genetically modified po-tay-to, I say genetically modified po-tah-to."

Laboratory- risk assessor

"I think we've been wasting out time testing phones on rats. We already know phones are addictive."

'Whine, whine, whine!' You know what your problem is, Baxter? You're not a team player!'