Laboratory Humorist Pillows

"Our funding ran out again. Whip up another batch of crystal meth."

'It was getting mouldy, so I threw it out.'

'Ed's in medical research.'

Dr. Prebish didn't always fit in with the other scientists.

'I've just discovered superglue.'

"I thought you wanted me to change."

Giant African Land Snail Escape

'He's extremely valuable to us - never comes up with anything, which eliminates all the blind alleys.'

'Not bad -- now let's try it with a twist of lime.'

'Not bad -- now let's try it with a twist of lime.'

"Uncle Eddy was in an animal test lab for years. That's why he wanted to get buried wrapped in nicotine patches."

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

"His first out-of-body experience."

'Hey, that one looks just like a visible mass of condensed water vapour floating in the atmosphere.'

'Maybe we have the wrong subject for this brain mapping project.'

'I wish they'd hurry up and fix the wind tunnel.'

Genetic Fingerprinting.

'We froze him until medical science knows how to cure spear wounds.'

"Perkins! What have you gone and done now...??"

'If we were in the Renaissance, we'd be painting nativity scenes right now.'

Happy Bifurcation Day,

SOUTH AFRICAN MUTANTS LAUGHING FIT

'A little squirt like Graubart would theorize that the Universe is contracting!'

'You knew I was a mad scientist when you married me!'

Frankenfish

Bacterial Cultural Center

'Dude, that big creepy eye is back.'

'The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your actions.'

'Your test results are in - and here's a first, the Lab Techs have asked to meet you.'

'We've proven without a doubt, that this particle has a negative charge. Unfortunately, an accelerator in Switzerland has proven, without a doubt, that it has a positive charge.'

Lab studies suggest that a human growth pill is just around the corner.

DNA Xmas.

"So, tell me what happened after this Schrodinger put you in this box..."

'Doctor, one placebo or two with your tea?'

Impartial Testing: "Eeny, meeny, money, moe..."