Laboratory Lover Gifts

"Well, there's another four million dollars down the drain."

Lab rat at bar after work: 'No, seriously. I'm in medicine. Cutting edge stuff. I work in a lab downtown.'

"At this point, we know it's addictive."

'I'm trying to turn gold into gasoline.'

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

'For crying out loud, can't a guy mutate in peace around here?'

"Admittedly, our research went astray but getting more funding should be easier now."

"Biggest damn virus I've ever seen."

Quantum Mechanics.

False Positive Diploma

"Some clean room - there's a fly in my potassium nitrate."

The Physicist is in

"Maybe Earth's primordial soup did contain polyester."

"I hope he has skeletons in his closet."

"Another advantage of genetic engineering: viruses you can see."

'Gee! I think we have the new sex-pill!'

'Hey, guys, come over here. I just discovered the telescope.'

'Take this slide and S-T-E-R-I-L-I-Z-E it.'

Nature Scents Research Department.

'I'm inventing an acid that eats through anything.'

'..A new method of extracting money from purses.'

'Sorry, Professor Kleinzweck -- your 'Chaos Theory' program just crashed.'

'We took some DNA from a woolly mammoth hair, and all we got from it was some more woolly mammoth hair.'

"Dr. Flaubert, I'm from the science police, and I'd like you to answer some questions about your last paper."

The take your mother to work program.

"Stop being creative and discover something already."

"Hey, at least you got a severance package."

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

"You're going to have to submit to peer review eventually, Bradshaw!"

'If he grabs the broccoli, we turn on the Raffi tunes. If he heads towards the Playstation, he hit him with the air horn at 100db.'

'Poor Kleinzweck -- his working hypothesis got laid off.'

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'

''Science moves but slowly, slowly, creeping on from point to point.' Tennyson.'

Armstrong? Why did UPS just deliver a microscope, a robotic arm, a huge incubator, a nucleus extractor and a dozen lab rats? Well, it's certainly not so I can replace you with an army of clones programmed to work for free. Well