Science Lab Lover Gifts

'Let me get this straight.. you don't want a BRIDE.. instead, you want a GUY FRIEND?'

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

'If he grabs the broccoli, we turn on the Raffi tunes. If he heads towards the Playstation, he hit him with the air horn at 100db.'

"You're such a good listener."

Carbon Dating.

'Poor Kleinzweck -- his working hypothesis got laid off.'

Evolution Exam Results.

Breaking News: Earth Crosses Multiple Lanes, Crashes into Sun... Distracted Orbiting to Blame.

Armstrong? Why did UPS just deliver a microscope, a robotic arm, a huge incubator, a nucleus extractor and a dozen lab rats? Well, it's certainly not so I can replace you with an army of clones programmed to work for free. Well

Raptures

"I hope he has skeletons in his closet."

"May I get an equation in edgewise."

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

When Dinosaurs ruled the Earth.

Family DNA

Scientist counting microscopic things he can see in his microscope

'My serotonin levels have maxed-out, my brain is awash in glucocoriticoids and, if it weren't for my leveling endogenous opiates, I'd float out that window!'

Sexual chemistry set

Newton had actually discovered gravity at a family dinner in his early childhood.

Another Theory as to Why Dinosaurs became Extinct.

Exit only.

"I am not asking for directions."

'How about a toast to my breakthrough?!'

School. I like solving problems with X's and Y's, so I'll probably go into either math or genetics!

"Of course you like like your father and me. What did you expect?"

Romance of Radio Astronomy

"What lead you to growing human tests in a test tube?"

'Did you really mean both me and a hippopotamus evolved from a tiny blob in the ocean?'

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

Science Fair Judgements

"Just a harmless little genetic experiment," they said. Yeah, right...

''Science moves but slowly, slowly, creeping on from point to point'. Tennyson.'

"If we crunch the numbers, it should have zero calories."

Where did you learn alchemy? Elementary school.

'Isn't that a little extreme? - Cloning yourself just so you can use the carpool lane?'