Lab Life Aficionado Gifts

Science Friction.

"Have you dined with us before?"

'More or less?'

"Oh, not bad, except that the entomologists keep bugging me."

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

'If he grabs the broccoli, we turn on the Raffi tunes. If he heads towards the Playstation, he hit him with the air horn at 100db.'

'Poor Kleinzweck -- his working hypothesis got laid off.'

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'

Armstrong? Why did UPS just deliver a microscope, a robotic arm, a huge incubator, a nucleus extractor and a dozen lab rats? Well, it's certainly not so I can replace you with an army of clones programmed to work for free. Well

'How about a toast to my breakthrough?!'

"What lead you to growing human tests in a test tube?"

''Science moves but slowly, slowly, creeping on from point to point'. Tennyson.'

"Liife! Give my conversation Liife!"

"If we crunch the numbers, it should have zero calories."

Where did you learn alchemy? Elementary school.

Genetic Fingerprinting.

'I'm growing mini human brains from stem cells.'

'I don't believe it - if this evidence is correct it'll rock the very foundations of our research grant application.'

"Okay, who's been messing with the copy machine?"

'Wow! Oh, wait -- It's only a Nobel consolation prize.'

'You've made a breakthrough in FINANCIAL research?', 'Yep! - I split the ATM!'

'Hey, it's that peeping Tom again, the one who has no respect for privacy.'

Frankenfish

'Just for kicks, let's come up with something that has a good side effect.'

'The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your actions.'

Dr. Darrin found her peer review process unnerving.

'Your test results are in - and here's a first, the Lab Techs have asked to meet you.'

"I feel so seen right now."

Impartial Testing: "Eeny, meeny, money, moe..."

'I don't know whether we should call the world pres or keep quiet?'

Test-tube people

'Sorry, Professor Kleinzweck -- your 'Chaos Theory' program just crashed.'

'Colds! Sore throats! Flue! Did anyone ever tell you you're a hypochondriac?'

"The search for a new painkiller has been a real headache."