La Liga Lover Gifts

Sport: Crisis in the Real Madrid.

High-gravity baseball

He can identify a fly taken by a trout at fifty yards range.

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

Ball as water-melon.

Mea Maxima Cuppa

'I think I've scored.'

'My real name is Bellis Perennis, but you can call me Daisy!'

Goalkeeper makes the wrong save.

The commentators want to run the officials...

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

"Hail, Caesar! The barbarians have been beaten back, and Rome is still Numero Uno."

'Did anyone tell her we're from another planet?'

Baseball Dreams

'Turn right at the Robinia pseudoacacia, pass the garden with the salvia officinalis, cross the road when you see the stranvaesia davidinia and the pub is on the left!'

"It was your father's idea - He can't bear to miss a second of the game."

The tulip knew it was in trouble when called by its scientific name.

'Diet? Yeah I'm on a prop's diet...pies,chips,burgers and coke!'

Evolution

"Somebody has screwed-up the seating arrangements" - Seating is an optical illusion.

'Consummatum est.'

"Looks like Rick's scored."

"You just carpe, carpe, carpe."

'Your efforts, and the little Latin quotes you drop into your email, have not gone unrecognized.'

'What? This is still a dead language, right?'

I love Classics.

"There's actually nothing wrong with you but I can write out something in Latin to show your boss."

Oympics 2028 Los Angeles

Football Pudding

"I don't care if you are a Leicester City fan - you can come down off that cloud right now!"

'If you don't want to see the disgusting spitting, look away now'

'My wife wanted me to get more active in sports, so I signed up or TWO fantasy football leagues.'

Football crazy