La Liga Loyalist Gifts

"As a friend, I pray you rest in peace. As a dog, I really want to dig you up."

'Yessir, Ben us fly fisherman answer to a higher calling.'

Bottle Distillery

Kobe Bryant

'Frank's last request was that he be cremated and that I never give up his season tickets.'

Ball and Chain

'We're still crazy then ...'

Replica Football Merchandise

'Don't look at me like that! I know it's a banned substance, OK? But how can I compete if I'm the only one in the league not using spinach?!'

'Kaplan, you've been traded. ...Sorry about the tattoos.'

'What do you mean foul? I had a shower this morning!'

"I hear you're the expert on loyalty."

'Look pal, we're friends and all, but you need to get out more, meet some people...'

"It doesn't help matters any when he keeps muttering, 'A good captain goes down with his ship'."

"Can you have another look at this? There's still a few sentences people might understand..."

'This is an amicable split. Coach O'Neill has done a great job. We just have different ideas...'

Airport: Frequent Lost Luggage Desk.

'That's what I like about him, he always pays his round.'

"Well, you know the old saying, if you want loyalty, get a dog."

"How old were you before you discovered our football song wasn't the national anthem?"

"... To be honest, I've forgotten what it was I joined up to forget."

Reality Football

Do It Now! Self help book - "It's well overdue, I just couldn't get round to bringing it back."

"Dad, snap out of it. The postseason ended last week. The Red Sox lost."

'Here's one pound. There's only one team worth watching.'