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Weak Knights

Parsifal

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

"NOW can I shoot you out of a cannon?"

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

"I understand the revisionists are hot on your trail, Professor Delauney."

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

"There isn't a siege. We're all in line for the bouncy castle."

'Good news from the field, sire! Attila did not like the referee's call, so he's folding up his tents, taking his ball and going home!'

"Take the picture, dam it, take the picture!"

'The knights are drawing closer'

"Dangnabit, Wilson! Where's that big campfire I asked for?"

'Thank goodness he's gone through sensitivity training.'

Don Quichotte

Visual Gag: Dracula reading a Fang Shui book. The Vampires version of 'Feng' Shui

'And your class story is an old, old one. In the middle of successful soul-snatching careers you were suddenly bitten by the lawyering bug...'

"I'm not an intern, I'm a squire. I'm not an intern, I'm a squire..."

"Connect A2 to B3, insert D3 into E5....I hate flat packs!"

Don Quilowatte

'I'm quite impressed with your bloodthirstiness but we won't be able to offer you health benefits eternally.'

"I know winter gets ugly, but this is ridiculous!"

They're souvenir magnets from all the places we've done battle.

'Count Dracula, I wish you'd come to me sooner...'

Inside voice!

"My lord, Sir Arthur is pleased to bid thee welcome to his food court."

'But sinister gales - with that armour?'

The Headless Horseman claims his luggage.

And where do you think you may have come in contact with AIDS tainted blood?

'Avoid the fat, chewy ones. They'll pull the fillings right out of your head!'

Knight Vision

'You don't look anything like Count Dracula and I should know, because he's a personal friend of mine.'

"Do you know a good taxidermist?"

Fresh Blood In Politics

Finally - Prof. Brozinski found the vegetarian vampire! And he knew what to do...

"They're remaking the old 'Dracula' film again..."